Honoring Commitments as a Gentleman

Making a commitment at your job, to a friend or family or to yourself could define who you are as a Gentleman. Are you someone who is sure to meet or exceed those commitments or do you sometimes let things slide? Depending on how frequently you honor those commitments could define you in your circle. Life happens but are you trustworthy or would be more of the non-committal member of your family? Let me bring things to your attention so you can decide and possibly make some changes.

The age-old question and definition of a man

The adage of ‘A man’s word is his bond’ dates back to the 1600’s. Actually, with some additional research, it shows up in the Bible MANY times as well. Regardless of its origins, this is another example of how we define a Gentleman. I would argue it’s a lost art in some ways but with busy lives, a plethora of options keeping us occupied or just a lack of desire, honoring commitments impacts everyone around us. Being aware of what side of the issue you sit on is important. 

  1. Communication. At the heart of every commitment should be good communication. What is required? When does it need to be done? If the request has been made with all the details and you are still unsure, ask. Communication is a two way street. Make sure you understand what is being asked of you and be clear in your ask of others as well. Frequent reminders may be necessary but too much may fall on deaf ears.
  2. Organization. Sometimes over committing is a result of a lack of organization. If you ‘live by your calendar,’ there’s a pretty good chance you know when you will have some free time. The days of post it notes on your screen are probably over. Taking the time to keep a list of those commitments or a to-do list should help. Being honest with yourself about that honey do list is key as well. If you have projects still out there from last year, it may be time to reassess. Prioritize and jump back in!
  1. Responsiveness. Do you wait until the last minute to respond to an email, a text or an invitation? Ask yourself why. Are you waiting for something better to come along? Are you truly unable to commit to that wedding in the Spring of 2025? The term RSVP, from the French, ‘Repondez s’il vous plait,’ translates to ‘Respond, if you please.’ Even back in the day, folks needed to know if they could count on others. Making it a priority to respond, either yes or no, gives those who are planners a heads up. That’s just good manners as well.
  2. Respect. Honoring your commitments is very clearly about showing respect. Failing to respond, not showing up, missing a deadline, leaving a project undone… These are all important as a Gentleman and as we’ve said before, respect is earned. If you aren’t showing it, you’re probably not getting it. Make the effort to meet expectations. Heck, show up early every now and then! 
  3. Dependability. Are you that guy everyone calls on for help? Many of us thrive on helping others. It’s hard to say no sometimes though. At the core of committing is the desire to be dependable. Without that, we will never be able to meet the requests of others. We are all busy. Got it. However, cherish your dependable friends. If Steve was there every time you had to move, let him know how much you appreciated that. As men, we specifically are driven to do a good job and to be appreciated. Getting that ‘atta boy’ at work, at home, from a spouse or even your Brotherhood will make any man feel good.
  4. Understanding those that don’t. Do you have that one friend who never responds to an invite or never shows up when they said they would? It’s hard to keep those people around. We feel let down, unimportant or frankly like we don’t matter. While this is part of good communication, we need to address the situation. If someone comes to you and calls you out, you need to be open minded and mature about it. We can’t grow if we can’t take constructive criticism. If they are doing it to you, they are probably doing it elsewhere in their lives. Let’s agree to be better on the giving and receiving of such coaching!
  5. Lead by example. Set a positive example for those around you by consistently honoring your commitments. Inspire trust and respect from peers and loved ones through your actions and integrity. Be the beacon everyone around you would strive to be.

Stay aware of your actions and those around you

At the end of the day, a true Gentlemen needs to take accountability for their actions or lack of them. As I have said many times before, we are not perfect. Life is a series of successes and failures. Having the ability to see and hear better ways to do it is key. It’s ok to call out someone. Do it carefully so as not to provoke. Let them know how their lack of commitment impacts you. A true Gentleman will take your feedback to heart and look to make positive changes. A strong Brotherhood should have this. Guys are generally less emotional about this, and the logic should open their eyes to doing the right thing. If you have not been able to honor your commitments to those important to you, make a conscious effort to fix it. There’s no time like the present!

Take care of yourselves and your brotherhood!

Colin Furcht
Colin Furcht

Colin Furcht- BRO Beard Products CEO

Colin has been a long time Lake Norman resident and has been very active in the community. From Commissioner to founding the Lake Norman Lighted Christmas Boat Parade to now a featured Author and small business owner! His desire is to bring men together and encourage them to reach out. He has always said, ‘look out for yourselves and each other.’ All men need a Brotherhood. www.brobeardproducts.shop