Widows Den w/ Monica Lucia: Please Allow Me to Re-introduce Myself

I am a mother. I am a college graduate. A business owner. A widow.
Each of these are just titles—labels placed on life’s chapters. One I was blessed with, one I earned, one I envisioned, and one I never wanted. But none of these define who I truly am.

Who I am is more complex, layered, and at times, uncomfortable—for me and maybe even for you. And that’s okay.

I’ve owned and sold businesses, without looking back or questioning whether I could build something again, because I knew I could. That kind of certainty might look reckless to some, but I’ve never taken the easy road. I’ve built my life on faith in myself, even when the world gave me every reason to doubt.

But let me take you back to the day Charlie died. There was no warning, no real explanation, just a future, gone. In one instant. I stopped measuring life in years and started counting hours, then days. Getting out of bed became an accomplishment. Hope was a distant memory. I wished the days away, not knowing what to do with the ache inside me.

Then one day, something shifted. I realized Charlie’s death had to mean something beyond pain. I didn’t want another young widow to sit in silence, hiding her tears from a world that couldn’t understand. I knew then—I wanted to give others what I desperately needed myself: a space to heal, to speak, to rise.

So, What Was My Purpose?

We often mistake purpose for achievements or accolades. But the Universe isn’t concerned with trophies. It’s drawn to intention, kindness, love, and courage. Purpose shows up when you act out of compassion, even when the world gives you every excuse not to.

As I began picking up the shattered pieces of myself, I found something more profound. By releasing what no longer served me—old beliefs, societal expectations, outdated definitions of grief—I began to see myself more clearly. I’m not fitting into the mold the world carved out for a widow. I’m reshaping the narrative.

I may not do things the “right” way, but I always do them anyway.

I challenge the stories I was raised with, the ones that kept me quiet and small. I feel deeply, love fiercely, and hurt silently so others can breathe without shame. I initiate the hard conversations—the taboo ones. I don’t follow the conventional career path, and I certainly don’t apologize for being myself—raw, honest, unconventional.

I’m not Instagram-perfect, but I show my body anyway—because it’s mine, and it tells its own story. I cuss, I cry, I create. I eat what I want and move when I can. I live with OCD and intrusive thoughts that nearly broke me, but now I know they were preparing me. To hold space. To make others feel safe in their chaotic minds.

People are drawn to me, maybe because I listen, maybe because I don’t judge. Perhaps because I’ve been through the fire and come out with open arms.

I’m not a perfect mom. I loved sports and crafts with my son—hated any other homework. I worry about him every day, fear losing him constantly, and love him more fiercely than words can say.

I’ve seen death that forever has etched a horror narrative in my mind. I’ve witnessed the final breath of someone I loved. I’ve mourned, prayed, and let go of people who walked away from me.

If any part of my story resonates with you, it’s because I am with you. We are mirrors of each other, broken in beautiful ways, healing in our own time.

So, here’s what I need you to know: Your thoughts aren’t too much. Your desires aren’t too strange. Your pain isn’t shameful.

We are all human, messy, imperfect, glorious beings. You are so incredibly important in this world. You’re more important for your brokenness than you are for your seemingly perfect parts. 

The Mission:

Widow Den is to help Widows and Widowers recover and survive, restore hope and confidence, instill strength and courage, and support families as they learn to overcome challenges, rising reborn, like the Phoenix, ultimately becoming Warriors who win and find new hope.

Monica Lucia is the Author of The Final Chapter and a passionate advocate for those navigating grief and loss. She is the Founder of Widow’s Den and Sisterhood of LKN, dedicated to supporting families In addition to her writing and community-building work, Monica is the Grief and Bereavement Counselor at Raymer-Kepner Funeral Home,