By Monica Lucia Hoffman
I don’t always know what a prayer is supposed to sound like. I’ve never been great with the right words for heaven. But I do know I’ve whispered for help into the air and hoped something—someone—was listening. I’ve asked for forgiveness without always knowing if I deserved it. I’ve searched beyond myself for answers, sometimes begging for a sign that I’m on the right path. And, in my own imperfect way, I’ve received them.
I know I am blessed. Not because life has been easy—it hasn’t—but because I’ve learned how to be still, to be quiet, and to listen. There’s something about listening, really listening, that rearranges your soul. You hear more than voices. You hear truths you’ve been running from. You hear your own heart telling you what it needs. Not what people tell you – you need.
Some may say being by myself is safe. Relationships are hard. That’s not bitterness, it’s trauma. It’s easy to protect your peace when you’re the only one responsible for it. Letting someone in is a gamble; it’s a risk that they’ll see the mess along with the beauty. But maybe that’s the point of the risk.
Showing Up
Is being something to everyone actually worth it? Or is being yourself—fully, unapologetically—enough? Show up as yourself, not everyone has to be seen to matter. Some of the most extraordinary people live quiet lives, touching the world in ways that will never make a headline.
And yet, in this culture of measurement, we’re so often judged by what we do, what we earn, and what we achieve. Does a bigger paycheck make you a better person for someone? Does the size of your success define the size of your heart? I don’t believe so. I’ve met people with very little who gave more than most could imagine. I’ve known people with more than enough who never truly gave anything.
In the end, I think most of us just want to choose ourselves—and find someone who chooses us back, every day, no matter what. Not for what we produce, not for what we own, but for the person we are when the world gets quiet.
So, what do I want to do with the rest of my life?
Maybe you want to build something, create something, travel, or finally learn to paint. Maybe you want to find love again. Maybe you want to be alone and truly rest. All of those are valid. All of those are enough.
The real question isn’t “What should I do with my life?” Which is the question I am most often asked: Hence the Title. It’s“What will make me proud of how I lived it?”
Try This Exercise:
Take a quiet moment and ask yourself—What do I do that makes me happy?
Write it down. Don’t overthink it. Let it come from the deepest, truest part of you.
Then, if you feel ready, share your answer in the comments or keep it in your manifest journal. You never know who might be inspired by your words.
Monica Lucia is the Author of The Final Chapter and a passionate advocate for those navigating grief and loss. She is the Founder of Widow’s Den and Sisterhood of LKN, dedicated to supporting families In addition to her writing and community-building work, Monica is the Grief and Bereavement Counselor at Raymer-Kepner Funeral Home, Huntersville and Denver.
